WOW! This explains so much of the behavior of characters I read in books! LOL
Not gonna lie — I like Damon’s approach here.
Blatantly saying to a woman, “Yes, it’s okay to want sex and to ask for it.”
WOO! Dayum!
Katheryn: My advice is to sleep with as many people as possible.
Cecile: But that would make me a slut, wouldn’t it?
Katheryn: Ccile, everybody does it; it’s just that nobody talks about it.
To sgtkirby:
No real, well-educated feminist is going to victim-blame you or shame you for being raped, because a real feminist knows what it’s like to have society do that to them. No real feminist is going to equate men as “walking dildos,” because a real feminist knows what it is like to be called a “walking incubator.” No real feminist is going to tell you that you’re lying about being raped, because a real feminist knows what it is like to be a victim of “he-said-she-said,” and “you were asking for it by (insert ridiculous victim-blaming excuse here).”
Setting that aside, let me try to help you understand why your rant, though understandable, is completely out of whack with what actually occurs in reality.
Allowing one feminist woman to speak for the rest of feminists speaks to your anger and desire for women not to generalize men in the same fashion, does it not? A feminist not cooperating with your MRA point of view is just the same as you not cooperating with a feminist, is it not?
You say you challenge “the system that calls women whores and sluts,” but do you even know what this system is? Do you know who perpetuated this system? Do you understand that men and women are equally to blame for slut-shaming and sex-shaming in our society? For every woman who calls herself a liberal, sexual woman, there is another who thinks if she sleeps with more than one man (using heterosexual relationships here as an example), she’s a slut. Do you often see this line of thinking in men? Do men look at it as “promiscuity” or simply a statement of “manhood” when they “conquer” a woman? Do you think a woman who sleeps with more than one man is a slut? How about more than two? What about more than 10? How do you define what a “slut” is? Do you understand that by the perpetuation of the “Madonna/Slut” verses the “Stud,” we are going around in a vicious circle?
Feminists are not unreasonable. Can ONE feminist be unreasonable? Yes. Can ONE PERSON, be them feminist or not, be unreasonable? YES! Everyone is capable of being “unreasonable,” but it does not mean ALL FEMINISTS are unreasonable.
Yes, there are some feminists who hate men. There are some feminists who do not shave. There are some feminists who burn their bras, don’t want you to open doors for them, and dislike the fact that the word “male” is in the word “female.” But there are also feminists who are in the “traditional” role of domesticity – they cook, they clean, they wear make-up, they shave their legs, they have children. And yes, there are even MALE feminists. Please, do not offend me by lumping all of the feminists into one category, as you yourself have been made victim of that.
Feminism isn’t an “us” verses “you,” issue – it’s not about a man besting a woman or a woman besting a man — it’s an EQUALITY issue. It’s about EQUALITY. That is what Feminism is. “A man of quality should never feel threatened by a woman of equality,” and vice versa. Women don’t get mad when men get higher test scores or get a job they want. But they do get mad when the system gives men (specifically white, middle-upper-class) men an unfair advantage over them. There are more women graduating college than men, taking higher positions in the work force than men, but they are not getting PAID THE SAME as men. Women average higher on test scores than men, but have to work twice as hard to “prove themselves” worthy of a job deemed “for men.” A man’s choice of clothing and his emotions are rarely called into question, but a woman is always dressed down, either as too “feminine” or a “ball-buster,” or the say, “she can’t handle it because she gets her period.” (Don’t believe me? Look at the last Presidential race and the head-lines pertaining to Hillary Clinton. They literally made a nutcracker out of her physique.) When you want to insult a woman, you call her a slut or a bitch or a ball-buster, all of which have a negative connotation. You want to insult a man, you call him a bitch or a pussy – which have female connotations, thus, equating the man as having feminine characteristics. It is “hot” when a chick dresses in her boyfriend’s shirt or wears his hoodie, but if a man wears high heels, it’s disgusting, because high heels are equated with the female. A woman on her period is a raging bitch “on the rag,” and her period is “disgusting,” but a man down in the dumps or a man who has a nocturnal emission is “normal.” Do you see where I’m going with this?
Men and women are equally in sharing the “victim-blaming.” The problem with your anger here is that the overwhelming majority of rapes are male-on-female, where the male is the aggressor, and the female is the victim. Have you ever heard of the phrase, “1-in-3?” Because 1 in every 3 women will be a victim of sexual assault in her lifetime, and those statistics are STAGGERING. It may not be true in your case, but most women find themselves at the mercy of what society throws at them in regards to safety and keeping themselves “out of harm’s way.” Never walk alone at night, don’t leave your drink unattended, don’t get drunk in public, don’t wear a short skirt and a tight top or you’ll be “asking for it,” lock your car doors, don’t work at night, don’t take a man home with you, etc. Most men never receive these messages or are taught these things. While I am deeply sympathetic to what happened to you and am sorry you were victimized, I must explain, with a heavy heart, that while your pain by no means should be dismissed, your anger toward Feminists and calling them “victim-blaming cultists,” is extremely unfair. You were a victim and there are millions more victims out there, just like you, in pain and suffering. Please, don’t dismiss all the women who have been raped because you’re angry at one feminist who was unkind and dismissed you.
You said, “At the constant rate in which you generalize anyone that disagrees with you all, all I can see feminism as is a bigoted lot of women who refuse to accept that men are equally screwed over in life, not just by the system, but by feminism as well.” Are you not generalizing all Feminists due to your bad experience with one? Saying “don’t generalize and you won’t be generalized,” is like offering a back-handed compliment. It simply doesn’t work that way.
Feminists do not see men as equally “screwed over in life” as women. History is riddled with how LESS men (at least, white men) have been screwed over “by the system.” The only way feminism has ever succeeded in “screwing men over” is by… Well, gaining the right to vote, gaining the right to own our own bodies and property, gaining the right to work, gaining the right to hold public office, gaining the right for an education, enter the military, and gaining the right to NOT just be seen as house-wives and baby makers… etc. All of these things were HANDED to men on silver platters. Sure, they might’ve had to “work” for it in the sense they had to get a degree and earn their position in a company, but they had the RIGHT to it already. Women did not. And there still is no equal pay for equal work. Women are still under attack for wanting basic things like the right to decide over their own reproductive rights. Nobody questions a man’s inherent right to spread his seed or use Viagra. Nobody calls him a slut for it, either. But women who want birth control, for whatever the reason, are sluts, and feminists are appalled by that – and for very good reason.
I am sorry that today was a day of “feminist bullshit” for you. But every day is a day for “feminist bullshit” to me, and let me tell you why. Every, single day, as a woman, I wake up with the knowledge that the guy I work with, because he has a penis, will make more money than me for doing the same job. I wake up with the knowledge that there is an all-male GOP panel making decisions about women’s reproductive rights, while at the same time, scoffing at the idea that women, in turn, should get a say in a MAN’S reproductive rights. I wake up knowing that our government and the right-wing have no problem bailing out Wall Street and using our taxes to fund a war and pay oil subsidies, but have a problem when women want to privately pay for insurance that will cover birth control. I rush to my car at 4:30 every morning, even though I live in a “safe” neighborhood, because I’m scared someone might attack me. I live with the knowledge that I could be raped, and out of the 12 other women I work with, 4 of them could be sexually assaulted. I live with the fact that the MRA movement has no interest in understanding women, their objectification, their plight, how they have to wade through a never-ending sea of sexism, nor do they even recognize their history of struggles and accomplishments.
As a feminist, I don’t want to be “thrown a bone,” or be told as long as I keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself in regards to men and the injustices I see in the world, then I’m a “good feminist.” I also don’t want to be told that I’m a bad person if I victim-blame, while at the same time, being told if I don’t, I’m “just one of those feminists who sits around and does nothing all day.” You can’t have it both ways. Either you want me to be a feminist who strives for equality and desires to work WITH men rather than against them, or you want me to sit here with my thumb up my ass and pretend I don’t see bullshit when it’s being shoveled my way.
The so-called “feminist bull-shit” is EVERY DAY LIFE for women, and trust me – it make us angrier than it could ever POSSIBLY make you.
Ohio state senator’s bill would force men to see a sex therapist before getting Viagra
Before getting a prescription for Viagra or other erectile dysfunction drugs, men would have to see a sex therapist, receive a cardiac stress test and get a notarized affidavit signed by a sexual partner affirming impotency, if state Sen. Nina Turner has her way.
A critic of efforts to restrict abortion and contraception for women, Turner says she is concerned about men’s reproductive health. Turner’s bill joins a trend of female lawmakers submitting bills regulating men’s health. Turner said if state policymakers want to legislate women’s health choices through measures such as House Bill 125, known as the “Heartbeat bill,” they should also be able to legislate men’s reproductive health.
Under Senate Bill 307, men taking the drugs would continue to be tested for heart problems, receive counseling about possible side effects and receive information about “pursuing celibacy as a viable lifestyle choice.”
Why is everyone slut-shaming the character Elena Gilbert on The Vampire Diaries?
Why is it “a-okay” and “totally hot” for Damon to stick it in anything and everything he wants when he’s upset and doesn’t get his way, but it’s not okay for Elena to have conflicting feelings? Why is it “okay” for Damon to swing between inhumane asshole and compassionate lover-boy every, other episode, but the minute Elena shows some backbone and conviction, everyone says “she’s acting like Katherine,” and sending Damon mixed signals?
It’s no secret — there is love and attraction between Damon and Elena — but does that make her a slut? They kissed — so what? It doesn’t mean she’s a whore. She’s not dating anyone — so, what’s the problem? She stuck up for herself with Damon and didn’t allow herself to be walked all over. That makes her a Katherine-like-psycho-bitch?
Elena may love Stefan, but he broke up with her. Stefan made it plain to her he wants nothing to do with her anymore. Would she still be a slut if it was anyone else but Damon she had feelings for — like, say for instance, Matt? If she waited a month, two months, two years — ten years — to be with someone after Stefan dumped her, would that make it better? Would that make her LESS of a “slut?”
And what’s with everyone saying Elena has “no right to be jealous” when Damon slept with someone else? Damon told Elena he loved her, and when he didn’t get the desired response, he A. Killed someone and B. Went and fucked another girl. And somehow, that’s okay behavior?
Riiiiiight….
What is it that makes people feel we have to either have a “Madonna” or “Whore” complex when it comes to female characters on television shows?
:::eye roll:::
